Postpartum regulation involves a process that affects the nervous systems of both the mother and the baby.
Postpartum mental health is often discussed emotionally—but far less often neurologically and somatically.
This gap matters. The neurological system is the nervous system: a vast network of nerve cells and pathways that regulate body functions through electrical and chemical signaling. The nervous system continuously receives and sends information throughout the body, shaping everything from movement and sensation to emotional regulation and the capacity to feel calm or overwhelmed.
The sensory system plays a key role in this process. It collects information from both internal experiences (such as hunger, pain, fatigue, and emotion) and external input (such as sound, light, and touch). It communicates that data to the nervous system so a response can be formed.
This interaction becomes especially significant during the perinatal period—particularly after birth. A new mother is not only processing her own sensory information, but is also attuned to and supporting her infant’s developing system.
The early postpartum period is a time of profound sensory load. Disrupted sleep, constant auditory input (cries, grunts, and sudden sounds), near-continuous tactile contact, and heightened internal bodily signals place sustained demands on the nervous system. For many mothers, what feels like “overwhelm” is actually a nervous system operating beyond its capacity to recover and reset.
At the same time, infants enter the world with immature sensory and nervous systems. They cannot self-regulate or soothe themselves independently. Instead, they rely on co-regulation—borrowing calm, rhythm, and safety from their caregivers through voice, movement, breath, and touch.
When postpartum distress is viewed through this lens, the narrative shifts. We move away from blame and toward support. Regulation is not a personal trait or a matter of willpower—it is a relational process.
Supporting families, then, means supporting both nervous systems, rather than expecting either the parent or the infant to function independently.
Co-regulation does not require a perfectly calm caregiver or a quiet environment. It requires predictable sensory input and enough support to help the nervous system settle.
The following practices are designed to support both the mother’s and the infant’s nervous systems at the same time.
1. Prioritize Rhythm Over Calm
When nervous systems are overwhelmed, rhythm organizes more effectively than reassurance or problem-solving.
Try:
slow, repetitive rocking or walking
gentle bouncing on an exercise ball
pacing while holding or wearing your baby
Why it helps:
Rhythm gives the nervous system something predictable to follow, reducing sensory chaos for both bodies.
2. Use Breath as a Shared Regulator
You do not need deep breathing or relaxation techniques.
Try:
slowing your exhale while holding your baby
breathing out audibly through the mouth
matching movement to breath (rock on inhale, pause on exhale)
Why it helps:
The baby’s nervous system cues off the caregiver’s breathing patterns long before language develops.
3. Simplify Sensory Input
Overstimulation often comes from too much input—not the wrong input.
Try reducing:
background noise
visual clutter
multitasking during feeding or soothing
Add instead:
dim lighting
one steady sound (humming, white noise)
consistent touch or positioning
Why it helps:
Fewer sensory signals allow the nervous system to process and recover.
4. Use Firm, Predictable Touch
Light or inconsistent touch can increase sensory confusion.
Try:
secure holds
swaddling (when developmentally appropriate)
firm pressure through your arms, hands, or chest
Why it helps:
Predictable tactile input provides both nervous systems with containment and safety cues.
5. Support the Mother’s Sensory Needs Without Guilt
Co-regulation works best when the caregiver is supported, not depleted.
Consider:
taking short breaks from touch when possible
switching roles with a partner or support person
naming when you feel overstimulated rather than pushing through
Why it helps:
Regulation is easier to access when sensory limits are acknowledged—not ignored.
6. Remember: Regulation Is a Process, Not a Performance
There will be moments when neither nervous system feels settled.
This does not mean harm is occurring.
It means the system needs time, support, and repair.
Returning to regulation—again and again—is how safety is built.
Gentle reminder: You are not expected to soothe perfectly. You are expected to be human, responsive, and supported.
Co-regulation is not about control—it is about connection.
